Wet, Snotty, Blotchy Face
“If you don’t stop crying I’ll kill all your fish!” yelled the mother at her daughter, who was kneeling behind a rug covered stool between a large collapsible photography backdrop and me. I was visiting the house as a door-to-door portrait photographer with a brief to ‘take a winner’ of the daughter in as little time as possible using no more than four frames of the medium format film.
From ‘Here Be Dragons’ By Jason Wilde
“Can you leave us alone for a few minutes please?” I said to the mother who gave me a raised eyebrow stare as she walked into the kitchen and lit another cigarette. She was furious with her daughter’s reluctance to be part of the ritual and her ravings had put her into a state where she would not stop crying. The young woman's name was Gemma, she was five years old, dressed in her Sunday best and shit scared of the strange man and his mini portrait studio.
“It’s alright princess, mad mummy’s having a fag so why don’t you have a look through here and see what you can see?” I handed her the camera and stood in front of the backdrop and danced around like an idiot waving my arms and legs and making silly noises while the daughter struggled to look through the waist level viewfinder of the cumbersome camera set up. Despite my tomfoolery nothing I did would put a smile on her wet snotty blotchy face.
From ‘Here Be Dragons’ By Jason Wilde
The clock was ticking, the mum was smoking and I was desperate. I had twelve more takes (portrait appointments) booked for that evening and being late had a knock-on effect that made the job a little harder.
Time for the big guns methinks as I quietly leaned forward and whispered in Gemma’s ear.
“Guess what?”
“What?” wiping her nose on her sleeve.
“Fatty and Skinny went up in a rocket. Fatty came down with shit in his pocket”.
Her eyes widened and nearly popped out of head before she burst out laughing.
4 frames later and I’m up and running.
From ‘Here Be Dragons’ By Jason Wilde